Hi! I’m glad you are here.
I have to admit something.
Since the first lockdown, I’ve had had continuous stress dreams.
What does a stress dream look like?
For me, it’s a reoccurring theme where I’m trying to catch some kind of a moving vehicle, such as a train or bus, and the door slams shut right before I get on. I’m chasing madly after the car but I never manage to stop it.
Then I wake up.
After I telling this to my husband, Jörg, he suggested I re-read his favorite go-to book in times of uncertainty: Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
“It was the book that saved my life when work problems seemed monstrous,” he said.
When he bought the book, we were living in Tokyo, Japan where he was the president of a start-up logistics company. He wanted desperately to make a profit but to his horror, he realized there had been a huge accounting miscalculation that he overlooked.
He said, “I thought it was the end of the company and my career. I felt sick.”
One day, he meandered into an English bookstore where he immediately spotted the book as if the universe had planted it there.
“After reading the first 15 pages, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders,” he said.
“It gave me a method to deal with them and put them in perspective. Although the book was written over 80 years ago, it made me realize that I wasn’t the only person who experienced sleepless nights; I didn’t feel alone with my worries.”
So, what does the book advise that makes it so great?
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living deals with fundamental emotions and life-changing ideas and lessons that are easy to read and to apply. This book is a classic because Dale Carnegie’s timeless advice has helped people learn how to eliminate debilitating fear and worry from their lives and to embrace a worry-free future.
The book has eight parts to it but I will talk only about part one because it was the most impactful for Jörg.
What is the strategy?
Step 1
“To avoid worry ‘live in tight compartments and don’t stew about the future.
I think today we call it living in the moment. This was the first time Jörg had heard of this concept. He took it to heart and worked on only one problem at a time each day.
“My head was all over the place and I could not concentrate. Putting things in tight compartments meant for me that I needed to focus only on one problem at a time and not worry about tomorrow. It was a strategy of breaking down each problem into smaller pieces that I could manage instead of looking at the bigger problem as a whole,” explained Jörg.
Step 2
In times of trouble, think about writing out these questions and answering them honestly.
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- What is the worst that can actually happen if I cannot solve my problem?
- Mentally prepare yourself to accept the worst if necessary. No matter how well we prepare for an outcome, fate will play a role that you have no influence over.
- If the worst situation occurs, what do you need to do to improve it? Do you have a plan B?
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The process of actually putting pen to paper is therapeutic. It gives you a clear picture of what you are dealing with. In Jörg’s case, he thought the company would go bust, but in reality, it needed a financial expert to sort out the numbers.
“A corporate accountant flew to Tokyo and we made changes to the accounting process. It was a lot of work, but I learned a huge lesson and never made that mistake again,” he recalled.
Step 3
Remember that worrying causes your body and mind undue stress and could lead to mental exhaustion and physical ailments such as a heart attack.
In Japanese, the word karoshi actually means working yourself to death. We all know at least one person who has had work-related illnesses whether it is burnout or a stroke: stress is a killer.
What was the lasting result?
To this day, Jörg says when he feels stress coming on, all he has to do is pick up that book and his troubles seem to diminish.
What struck me was the last paragraph Dale Carnegie had written in the preface. He said this is not any new information. Sages have been preaching this for centuries, but you must do the exercises.
This is where the rubber hits the road; you yield success when you do put it into action.
What should you do if you feel stuck?
If you are stuck anywhere in your life and/or feeling a lot of stress, you might want to get a life coach or another professional to keep you accountable an
d walk you through the process.
Doing anything alone is just that: a lonely process.
Over to you
Have you ever read a book that was so impactful on your life? I’d love to hear about it. Please drop me a line or leave a comment on the website. Also, if you found this article helpful, please share it with a friend or on social media.
Have a great day!
Paula
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